Stupid Questions.

I’m not going to pretend I never say stupid things. Everyone has brain farts. It’s a natural part of being human. We speak before we think and the results are usually pretty amusing.

It’s really annoying however when you come through a drive through and ask a really stupid question that could easily be answered by using your brain for 12 seconds. Like this morning, I had a guy come through and ask what the difference between a buttered biscuit and a chicken biscuit was.

I wonder if he honestly didn’t realize how stupid he sounded. Sometimes I feel bad for judging, but honestly I can’t picture what’s going through some people’s heads.

This one has absolutely nothing to do with my job, but I saw it on a website I frequent:

“

(My father is a dentist, and he is known among his dentist friends for having insane patients. This one really takes the cake, though.)

Dental Office: “Good morning, this is Dr. [name]‘s office. How may I help
you?”

Patient: “Yes, it’s [name]. I’d like to cancel my appointment for today.”

Dental Office: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why you’re canceling?”

Patient: “I have this awful toothache!”

….SERIOUSLY?

I just. I can’t. I can’t even understand.

My favorite however is: “Um, is this FRESH?”

No. We left your sandwich sitting out on the counter for 20 minutes before you got here, because we thought you’d like it better lukewarm. Idiot. Of course it’s fresh. It’s a very very rare occasion that we have someone in the kitchen who is stupid enough to serve cold fries or chicken that is past the holding time. And I mean VERY rare.

So hm anyway. This is a short post because I was just very irritated about stupid biscuit guy. He wasn’t even the cute kind of stupid where you’re like “aww, how precious. you’re adorable.” no, he was rude and crotchety! After I gave him his biscuits he was like “UH, EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME MISS. HEY. EXCUSE ME. THESE IS CHICKEN RIGHT?” (i’m not kidding. he said “these is.”)

Me: ………. yes.
Him: YOU SURE!?
Me:……………..yes.
Him: *glare* *drives away*

*sigh* 6:15 am is too early to be an idiot.

A Brief Thank You Note

I’m really good at complaining. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t really care if other people get annoyed with my complaining. No one’s forcing you to listen or be my friend or whatever. However, I feel the need to pause in the middle of this “F U MEAN CUSTOMERS” blog to thank the customers who are actually considerate and share some NICE customer stories, for once.

As much as I usually hate to admit it, without customers, I wouldn’t have a job. Dealing with customers can actually be really  pleasant when the customer is someone who understands that I am not their slave or servant. A smile, a “Hey, how are you doing?”, or a small compliment at the end of your transaction can go a long way.

For instance, I love customers who take notice of our extra efforts to make their experience more pleasant. When women come out of the bathroom with stunned expressions and say ‘Wow, I can’t believe you guys have pads and tampons and lotion and mouthwash in there!”, it makes me feel good that our restaurant has surpassed their expectations and done something to help them out. When you notice things like this, tell us! We like to know that people appreciate us.

It also cracks me up when people say things like “Wow, you’re so upbeat and happy!” I’m glad I surprised you and I wasn’t that surly faced, miserable kid you usually get at other fast food restaurants. It’s especially hilarious in the early morning, when I’m bright and cheerful and the customer can barely grunt out their order. I’m so used to working at 4 and 5:30 AM that I’m super energetic by 6.

The thing is,when you’re super nice to me, I’ll go out of my way to make sure you continue to have a pleasant experience. For instance, one night we were really dead and this guy came in and ordered a special sandwich. We talked while they prepared his sandwich, and he was super friendly. He got his order, only to come back a few minutes later and say “I’m so sorry to bother you, but this wasn’t supposed to have pickles.”His friendliness made such an impression on me that I threw in a free fry. Had he been a jerk about it, I probably would have just gotten him his sandwich and apologized, hoping he would exit the store as quickly as possible.

Judge me all you want, but I have no sympathy for people that are rude to fast food workers and waiters. It’s SO easy to be nice, even if you’re faking it. I always thought spitting in people’s food was drastic, but I’ve had customers that seriously made me consider sneakily violating their food in some way. I have to be nice every single day. It doesn’t matter if I just found out my dog died, I have to slap on a smile and make sure your experience is the best it can be. If I can do it, you can too.

And those of you who do, I love you. I really do. Nice customers are rare. Most customers are apathetic and stand-offish; most of the rest of customers are rude. It is a small minority who are genuinely nice. So to those of you who compliment, thank, smile, apologize, and make an effort to establish a temporary relationship with your fast food server/waiter…thank you!!!

How to Have a Smooth Catering Experience

Sometimes I truly think that customers think we are Food Gods and Goddesses. We literally construct food out of nothing but air molecules and magically whip it up into beautiful catering trays that can be teleported directly to your location. Yes. That is EXACTLY HOW IT WORKS.

I like to make lists, if you haven’t noticed yet. Here’s another list on how to not be the worst catering customer ever.

1. Here is a mini-list of all the information we are going to ask you for. Make copies. Post it on the bulletin board at work. Hand it out to your friends. MEMORIZE IT.

Your name. Delivery or Carry out? If delivery, address. What time do you need it? What day do you need it? Do you need any condiments with it? Do you have any special requests? Are you paying in store? If not, we’ll need your credit card number. And, of course, the entirety of your order.

2. Please do not call at 12:30 pm on a Tuesday and ask for 2 large nugget trays for 1:00. It’s not going to happen. We have to cook those nuggets, put them in the trays, get all the catering supplies together, and still handle the afternoon lunch rush. You MUST give us ample time to arrange your order. We prefer one day’s notice, but even if it’s just 2 hours, that’s better than last minute. The less time you give us, the greater the odds that your order will be messed up.

3. Please do not call at 12:30 pm on a Tuesday and interrogate us about every single catering item we have. I’m trying to work here and you’ve got me tied up on the phone for 45 minutes asking about every single tray and how many people it serves and oh how much is that and that and that and that? I assure you all of this information is available online AND in paper format in the store.

4. Accidents happen. Please don’t be rude and uppity if something is off. A simple “I’m sorry, I was supposed to have 40 sandwiches but I only count 38” will do. None of this “UM YOU ASSHOLES SHORTED ME TWO SANDWICHES I DEMAND A REFUND I WILL NEVER USE YOUR COMPANY AGAIN BLARGHGHGHGH” nonsense, please. I will try to make your life as easy as possible if you return the favor.

5. If you have an extremely large event going on, please…PLEASE…do not request catering from a fast food restaurant. Call in the big guns that cater for a living. Yes, it’s more expensive, but it’s also easier. They’re equipped to handle your large order. For us, it is a collaboration of acts from God, Allah, Buddah, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster to get your order together. The worst I ever had was an order for 15 large wrap trays, 5 large brownie trays, 10 gallons of tea, and probably some other crap I can’t remember.

Let me just elaborate. This isn’t just labor we’re talking about. This is food prep having to order more produce. This is our truck coordinator having to order more trays, lids, wrap paper, brownies, and whatever else.This is me having to come in on a day that our store is usually closed to do your order because there literally isn’t enough time in the day between all my other normal work tasks to get it done. I know, you love our food, and that’s great and all, but handling a 1,000 person event is a huge undertaking for us.

And if you insist on catering from a fast food restaurant, don’t be pissed off if it takes a long time or there are a couple things wrong with it. We’re doing the best we can. We’re not professional caterers. If you wanted professionals, you should have gone to professionals.

Dear Parents: CONTROL YOUR CROTCHFRUIT.

Kids drive me crazy. Some kids I like. My best friend’s daughter is absolutely adorable. I have her crayon drawings on my fridge and every time I see her I bring her a gift from the Disney store.

However, YOUR kid….I probably don’t like. It just comes with the territory. Whenever you bring your kid into my restaurant, there’s a pretty good chance I’m not going to enjoy the experience. Other people’s kids are just annoying. Sorry. It’s nothing personal. It’s just years of bad experiences causing me to pre-judge your kid. You’d understand if you worked on my side of the counter.

So, here is my list of things you can do to make everyone’s dining experience considerably easier when your bring your kid along.

1. Look, I get that not everyone is into spanking. It’s a damn shame, honestly, but hey, different things work with different kids. One thing that universally DOES NOT work, however: “Billy, stop. Billy, you really need to stop. Billy, don’t do that. Billy, mommy is serious.” Okay look, obviously talking at your kid isn’t stopping them from flinging mayonnaise packets around the dining room. Could you try actually PARENTING your child and exercising some discipline over them? This is kind of a general point and goes into a general “parenting” conversation, but…honestly people.

2. A fast food restaurant is not a babysitting business cleverly disguised with kids meals and ice cream. There are few things more frustrating than watching your brat running around dining room like a possessed Chihuahua while you sit chatting with your adult friends. Who needs responsibility when you have under-paid, over-worked fast food employees to clean up your kid’s mess? There is a special place in hell for parents like that, I assure you.

3. Don’t get pissed at us if your kid gets hurt on the playground, ESPECIALLY if you’re not in there supervising them. In fact, don’t get pissed at me for ANYTHING your brat does. It’s not my fault. I’m not your babysitter. Please assume some responsibility for your child’s safety.

4. Also, please assume responsibility for your child’s MESS. I understand that I’m the one with the  broom and dust pan, but if your child has flung Barbecue Sauce across the table and poured milk all over the high chair and floor, you could make some feeble attempt at cleaning it up. I would be more than happy to help, and if you’re so polite as to actually try to do some cleaning yourself I’ll probably say “oh don’t worry about it, I’ve got it!” It’s the thought that counts. Yelling “Hey, my kid spilled something!” at me and then standing there while I bend over and mop it all up is rude and projects an attitude of superiority. You’re not my superior.

5. Please do not take our marketing balloons for your kid. Any fast food restaurant that has balloons with the company’s name on them are NOT meant to be taken, especially without asking. They’re part of our promotional packages. We’re accountable for all the marketing supplies we’re sent. Do not take our marketing supplies, balloons included.

6. Teach your brat some manners. I’m so sick of kids coming up to my register and saying crap like “Give me ice cream” or “I want Honey Mustard.” I realize that kids say some stuff you may not have taught them to say, but “please” and “thank you” are pretty elementary.

7. Accompany your child to the bathroom, for the LOVE OF GOD. I cannot even begin to describe the disgusting things I’ve seen in bathrooms. Sad things, too. I once saw a child who looked about 5 standing by herself in the middle of the bathroom looking completely lost. I had to help her go to the bathroom and wash her hands because her mother wasn’t there for whatever pitiful reason.

8. Decide your child’s order before approaching the register. Children are notoriously fickle, and some seem to be even more so when a stranger is staring at them expectantly. Susie will be happy whether you get her lemonade or sprite. Stop trying to force the child to make a decision and just order for her. You’re wasting my time and stressing the kid out. And if they cry over what you ordered them, then hey, no one’s forcing them to eat. I wasn’t rewarded or mollycoddled for acting like a brat when I was a kid, and it disgusts me when parents do that to their kids.

9. Discipline your child for acting out. I have a whoooooooole soapbox on spanking and parents being afraid to actually punish their children, but we wont’ go into that. If your child starts screaming like a banshee, remove it from the restaurant. It disrupts other people’s meals and gives me a headache. If your kid is fighting with other kids on the playground, remove the kid from the situation. Honestly people.

 

Bottom line: Kids are impatient, messy, and unpredictable. You really can’t expect them to sit still for long periods of time and behave themselves. Other diners and employees at the establishment will greatly appreciate it if you take a few steps towards minimizing the damage your toddler tornado can cause.

An Example of How to Suck At Everything EVER.

I had an awful customer tonight and I just had to share with you guys because she was almost a perfect example of how to completely suck at life. If only she had been on her phone and had yelled at me. Then she would’ve been golden. Alas, she gets silver.

Anyways.

So I’m doing my favorite job at The Chick, headset. Yay! Happy night! Then here comes Crotchety Middle Age Woman through my drive thru. At first she seems okay…she orders a salad, 2 senior drinks, a large diet coke, and something else. Then she pulls up to the window. 

Okay so she had 3 drinks. Look people, I make your drinks THE SECOND YOU ORDER THEM. I am far too busy to wait till you get to the window to make your drinks. Unless you’re the only person in line and you have more than one drink, your drink is probably going to be made by the time you get to the window. But no. Crotchety Pants pulls up and goes “Umm, can you make sure those drinks have no ice?” Sigh. Sure. Okay. I remake them.

Oh, let me go ahead and mention, my window girl is stocking a fridge because I FIGURED i could handle three cars by myself.  

So I make them and I start taking another order while her food is being prepared, and she beckons one of my coworkers over. This coworker tells me after the order I’m taking that “she wants a little ice in the Diet Coke”. sigh. really? REALLY? Christ. Okay. Then, as I start putting her drinks in a carrier, she says “Um, those lemonades need more in them.” What the hell? I couldn’t fit anymore lemonade in them! I TRIED. God.

So I fix her stupid diet Coke again. THEN I go to take her money and she hands me a coupon for the salad. When will you people learn. COUPONS. AT. THE. BOX. PLEASE! Christ! It’s not that hard! 

Then after she pays she goes “Did you get that chicken sandwich and fries?” What?! No! Why didn’t you ask before you paid!? At this point I just wanted to slam my head against the counter repeatedly. 

So I ring her up again. At this point her order has hit 5 minutes, which is our “red zone.” Then once she gets her food she does that annoying thing customers do where they sit at the window and hold up my line while they root around in their bag making sure every single napkin, sauce, and fry crumb is there. In my  head I was screaming GO AWAYYYYYYY.

I don’t think she did anything else. She might have, and if I remember you better believe I’ll update this.

Just like, what the hell? Did she go to a seminar on how to be incredibly frustrating and idiotic? Was she high? I don’t know. But don’t come through my drive thru like that.

As a side note, if I ask you to repeat yourself, don’t EFFING YELL AT ME. I’m not deaf, our headsets are shitty and hard to hear through even on full volume. When I say “can you repeat yourself” that doesn’t mean “talk to me like i’m 2 years old and partially deaf”. Just…so you know.

Order Placing for Dummies

I’ve never found placing an order to be a difficult task. Usually you begin by looking at the menu, choosing a meal, telling the cashier, and paying. Really, it isn’t usually a difficult task.

But hey, I wouldn’t have this blog if it were easy for everyone. Unfortunately, there are some special brands of morons out there that have to make the easiest part of a transaction incredibly complicated. Let’s break it down.

If you’re not ready to order, don’t walk up to the counter. If you’re on your cell phone, DON’T walk up to the counter. In fact, stay in your car in a parking space and finish your conversation. This goes for the driver thru speaker box, too. If you’ve never been to our restaurant before, the drive thru is NOT the place to peruse our menu. You’re destroying the whole point of a drive thru, and every customer behind you is going to get pissed at ME. Don’t waste my time.

(Note: I’m going to reference the restaurant I work at as The Chick. This way, you have a general idea of the type of restaurant I work at without me risking getting my butt in trouble for slandering our good name or whatever.)

So at the first Chick I worked at, I was on a register and this guy comes up to me. He’s on his phone, like most rude customers are. He says “I want a number 6” and turns away to carry on his conversation. I say “Excuse me, sir? Do you want that chargrill, spicy, or caesar?” He glares at me and says “I don’t care about all that, just give me a number 6!” I say, “Um. Okay. Do you know what kind of drink you want?’ And he just waves me off, throws his money on the counter, and walks further out into the dining room. So I say “EFF IT” in my mind and throw down a chargrill wrap and his fries and I make him a coke. When he comes to get his order, he goes “What the hell is this!? I wanted nuggets! And I don’t like coke!” To which I say, “Sir, you asked for a number 6 and wouldn’t answer any of my questions. A number 6 is a wrap meal.” He grumbles under his breath and takes his food. Thank God. I was worried I was going to lose my job if he started some crap, because I was NOT having it with this rude, self-centered tool.

The point of my anecdote is this: READ THE MENU!!! People, it’s not hard. “What kind of salad dressings do you  have?” Um, do you really want me to rattle off all 10 dressings we carry or would you rather LOOK AT THE MENU and figure it out yourself? “How much is a number 1?” Well, honey, the price is on the menu. “What’s the difference between a deluxe sandwich and a regular sandwich?” Really? Are we going to do this? If you’re that blind, it is unsafe for you to operate a vehicle, and I can’t help but wonder if I should call the police to escort you home.

In addition to reading the menu, please anticipate all aspects of your order. What I mean is this: It is INCREDIBLY annoying for this type of conversation to take place–

Me: Hi, welcome to the Chick, how may I serve you?

Customer: I want a number 5.

Me: 8 or 12 count?

Customer: 12.

Me: What to drink?

Customer: Dr. Pepper.

Me: Anything else?

Customer: A milkshake.

Me: What flavor?

Customer: Uhhh….chocolate.

Me: Small or large?

Do you see my point? I don’t know if these people think I’m so stupid that I can’t handle their 3 item order in one breath, but I assure you I can. I regularly take orders while stocking, retrieving boxes, pouring tea/lemonade, etc. I can handle it. You can say “Hello! I’d like a number 5 12 count with a dr. pepper and a small chocolate milkshake, please!’ You don’t need to pause between each individual item. I assure you I would not be allowed to work in the drive-through if it took me that long to comprehend an order.

Also, what is up with people asking us for items we clearly don’t have? “Uh hey, can I get some mashed potatoes?” Look at our menu and you’ll see that we don’t serve them. I’ve had people ask for all kinds of nonsense, including a fish sandwich.

Additionally, for the love of God, STOP ADDING STUFF AT THE WINDOW!!! If it’s like, one sandwich or one fry, okay. That’s easy. But don’t add milkshakes. Milkshakes take quite a bit of time to make. And don’t add a whole new order, or ask to have your three meals separated into separate tickets. For the love of all that is holy, please tell us at the box if you have a coupon, want cheese/lettuce/tomato/pickles on or off your sandwich,  want your items rang up separately, or want your items bagged separately. There is not a bold enough bold font to emphasize this. If you do these things at the window, you’re holding up the line and it’s going to take a lot longer to get your meal done–and done correctly. Especially if you decide to add cheese or something at the window. By the time you get there, your order is probably already bagged up. Now I have to unbag it, the kitchen has to remake your sandwich, and the whole machine slows down. Good job, toolbox.

I would also like to point out how damn annoying it is for you to go “I want a number 1 with a coke. Just the sandwich and the drink.” Okay well then you don’t want a meal! You want a sandwich and a coke. A meal is an entree, side, and drink. It says that on the menu, BY THE WAY. It’s annoying to have to erase what I just typed because you don’t know what you’re talking about.

Another point I’d like to make: when you’re in the drive thru, freaking TELL ME when you’re done with your order! I’m not a mind reader. If you say “I want a number 1 with a coke” and don’t say anything else, there’s going to be a brief, awkward silence as I wait for the rest of your order. How do you expect me to know that you’re done? For all I know, you’re conversing with your passengers as to what they want to order. Just say “and that’s all!” at the end of your order. 3 words and we shave valuable seconds off our drive-thru time.

Also, the next person that drives off from the box before I’m done talking is going to have their drink thrown at their head. This is so incredibly rude! I haven’t given you your total or confirmed that everything is correct, but you’re going to drive off? Fine, but don’t yell at me (even though I know you will) if the total is more than you expected or something is wrong with your order.

The last point I’d like to make in this insanely long post is this: please have your money readily available when you place an order, both in drive thru and on front counter but especially in drive thru. I’ve actually had someone be in line for 3.5 minutes and then when she got to the window, she started frantically digging through her car trying to find her purse. Then she got out of her car and found her purse in her trunk. By the time she paid and got her food she’d been in line for about 7 or 8 minutes. Come on people. Have your money at hand. And for God’s sake, don’t dump a ton of change on me in the drive thru. If you MUST pay in nothing but change, come inside.

Wow, that was a long post. Well, if any of you actually read to the end, I hope you enjoyed it!

Coupons: More Complicated Than Abstract Algebra

I’m assuming if you’re old enough to walk up to my counter and attempt to have some sort of conversation with me, you’re old enough to know how to read.

So please tell me why so many people don’t read their coupons? It’s like they see the word “FREE” and all other thoughts are vaporized. “Free? Something for FREE? I MUST DO THIS RIGHT NOW THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION GIVE ME THE FREE STUFF I WANT IT ALL NOW.”

God.

So, you know, sometimes coupons come with stipulations. “FREE milkshake with purchase of fry!” See that? See what we did there? We still MADE MONEY, you know, like businesses try to do, and you still got two things for the price of one! Isn’t everyone happy here?

No. No they’re not, because it’s literally an act of God to please certain types of people.

A woman did this to me tonight. She had a coupon for a free milkshake with the purchase of a fry. Okay, look. Our milkshakes are like, three bucks. Our fries are under two dollars. You’re making out like a bandit here. But no. If it says free, in the name of God EVERYTHING must be free!

So she gives me this coupon (oh, I must add, she didn’t tell us at the drive thru box that she had a coupon. I love when people do this. Really.) and after promo-ing out her milkshake I tell her, “Oh, I’m sorry, you have to buy a medium fry to use the coupon!”

She looked at me as if I’d just threatened to strangle her puppy and said, “Um, are you SURE?’

No. I’m making this up because I just love interacting with selfish whiny brats like you.

I tell her yes and point it out. She gets all huffy and goes,

“Well, other [restaurant] just TOOK the coupon last time!”

Well I’m sorry that they did their job wrong, but I’m not doing mine wrong, so quit being a selfish hussy and pay up.

I mean, I understand that sometimes companies like to trick you or whatever and the print is small or not easily noticed or whatever. You honestly might not see it. But if you honestly DON’T see it, don’t get all pissy with me when I do my job and point it out. Because believe it or not, my job isn’t to fall down at your feet and lick your shoes clean. My job is to bring in money for the restaurant I work for. I want them to make money because I want a paycheck. It would have been just as easy for her to go “Oh! I didn’t see that! Sorry about that.”

But then I wouldn’t be writing this blog post.

I just don’t see why people find coupons so hard. It’s like you’re trying to explain trigonometry to a preschooler. It’s all right there on the coupon, in good old Present Day English. And employees would love to explain anything that seems confusing, if you can try NOT being a jerk in your approach. Put yourself in the employees shoes. Which you would respond better to?

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO BUY SOMETHING TO GET A BUY ONE GET ONE FREE THIS IS ABSURD YOUR’E AN IDIOT GET ME YOUR MANAGER YOU FOOL”

or…

“Oh! I totally missed that. So sorry, let me order another item/grab another shirt/run to the ATM to grab more money.”

So please. Read your coupon before attempting to use it. Look for keywords like “WITH” or “OR” or “AND”. And if you misunderstand something, don’t take it out on the employee. It wont make the process any smoother.

If You Don’t Get Off Your Phone, I Will Assault You

I swear to God the next person who comes through my drive through on their phone is getting said phone shoved down their throat.

I am really sick of this rudeness. What is wrong with you people? Imagine you see someone you know in public and you walk up to them and say “Hey! How are you doing?” and they just ignore you. How would you respond? Confusion? Annoyance? That’s my response when you drive up to my window and you’re on your phone. It’s like I’m trying to engage you in some way and you’re just steadfastly ignoring me.

The absolute BEST is when you insist on ignoring me, not acknowledging any of my questions, chatting away on your phone, and then you have the audacity to complain if something’s wrong with your order. I’m trying to clarify your order, ask you what kind of fatty sauces you want with your meal, ask if there’s anything else I can do for your ungrateful ass, and you have the gall to get your panties twisted up your butt when somethings wrong? Don’t even go there. I will win every time.

I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not that important. You are not the center of my world, of my manager’s world, or of anyone’s world in the cars surrounding you. Your phone call isn’t important to us. Your phone call is interrupting our work day and sucking the “fast” right out of “fast food”.

Please just finish the phone call before pulling up to the window, or save it for after your transaction is complete. I assure you I just want to get through my shift without any kind of altercation. I will smile, be friendly, and do my best to ensure your experience is enjoyable. All I ask is you do the same!

Don’t get me wrong, cell phone usage is probably the least rude thing that’s been done to me in this industry. And I’ve become pretty good and grinning and bearing all the crap customers throw my way. This just needs to be said because it’s one of the Top 3 annoying things drive thru customers do. Your phone call CAN and SHOULD wait. How can you expect me to give you fast service if you insist on slowing down the operation?

I’d also like to take a moment to address smokers in the drive-through, because it’s a similar concept. Stop smoking in drive through. It’s disgusting. You’re blowing your smoke in my face. It’s SO rude. What if the person at the window has asthma? But no, you don’t care. All you care about is getting your food and leaving. Selfish. I don’t like the smell of smoke. Many people don’t. I’m sorry but if you honestly can’t handle your addiction well enough to put off a cigarette until you’re not breathing smoke in people’s faces (who are working with FOOD, by the way!), you have bigger problems than I know how to deal with. I respect your right to smoke your filthy disgusting cancer sticks. I don’t like it, but I’m not going to go out of my way to stop you from smoking, because hey, go ahead and get lung cancer, that’s YOUR freedom. Go America! I just ask that you respect my right to choose NOT to smoke. Don’t smoke in my drive through. Get that crap out of my face.

The Other Side of the Counter

Good morning one and all. I’m Christy and this is my first post about the horrors of working with the general public.

Most college students like me start their work experience with a minimum wage job that forces you to make contact with those people called “customers”. Well, it’s been almost 6 years now and let me tell you, it has been an interesting ride. Overall, I really like my job. It pays well enough, I like most of my coworkers, and the hours are flexible. It’s not a bad gig.

However, there are certain types of people in our lovely world that when they walk up to the counter, you can just tell that you’re about to get a massive headache. Sadly, I don’t think most people realize they do some of the infuriating things I plan to cover in this blog. The key to understanding how to be a better customer is to put yourself on the other side of the counter (or table, or desk, or telephone…).

I’d like to emphasize that I’m not addressing all customers who complain. I’ve complained as a customer before. Sometimes you honestly get shafted by the company and are mistreated. I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect, no one is perfect. I can say with humility that I have, in fact, made errors in my work before. The main point I’d like to address is that there is a right way and a wrong way to make your complaint clear.

Let’s have our first anecdote, shall we?

One day as I was working the window in drive-thru, a woman told me she wanted extra ketchup in her bag. I grabbed a handful of packets, dropped them in the bag, and handed it to her. When she looked in the bag and saw the ketchup, she grabbed about five packets and threw them at me through the window, screaming about how I was “trying to be a smart ass”.

I assure you this woman was not putting herself in my position. If she had, she probably would have slapped herself for being so stupid. I’m not quite sure why she thought flinging ketchup at me would be a great way to make her point, but it should be quite obvious that this is a pretty inappropriate way to handle a complaint.

I’d also like to say: if you ask for extra anything, don’t complain when you get more than you wanted. I’m not a mind reader. How am I supposed to know that when you say “extra ketchup”, you mean you want 3 packets, not 8?

Of course, usually when customers do inconsiderate, annoying, or rude things, it’s not quite as violent or ridiculous as this woman. It can be something as crazy as chucking condiments around or as subtle as the tone of your voice and the look in your eye when you approach me. By that, I mean that I can tell when people walk up to me and judge me for working in fast food. Oh please. You didn’t have that shiny lawyer’s briefcase forever. Someone needs to rip that silver spoon out of your mouth and beat you with it.

Anyways, I hope you guys will stay tuned. I certainly have plenty of entertaining customers stories to share, and years of advice to bestow on you. Hopefully you learn something. I fully expect someone to finish reading one of these posts and say, “Wow, I didn’t realize how rude it was for me to do (x behavior)!” It’ll be a pleasure doing business with you.